Metaphor

I was going to do a free-write about how I'm feeling, but I decided that wouldn't be very fair for some people, so I'm going to write about a metaphor I just experienced while watching the season finale of a show called Parenthood.

Basically this girl Amber doesn't get into college and so she starts trying to run her own life. She's doing drugs and drinking and hanging out with this guy, and her mom wants to help her but Amber literally pushes her mother down and runs away. Eventually Amber is driving with the guy while drinking and smoking pot and they run a red light and get in a big car accident. See here is where you would think that she would learn something, but instead she just is ignorant and doesn't apologize to her family for what has happened. Her mom and brother talk to her and try to explain to her that she's "lucky" and that she should appreciate her life now, but she doesn't.

Finally her grandpa takes her to the lot where the car from the accident is. He talks to her and says that he dreamt about having grandchildren (having her) and how she has his genes in her. She finally gives in and starts crying and apologizing. Later on she is at a reading of her mother's play and she leaves and starts crying again because she can't believe she almost wasn't there for it and the people around her. Finally she says that she wants to be like her mother.

I feel like this whole story is a pretty obvious metaphor, so I'll just briefly explain the parts that aren't. To me this was a story of my relying on friends to fulfill me rather than God. God keeps chasing after me and I keep pushing him away. I don't know why I keep pushing him away and trying to find the perfect friend, but I do. In reality he is the only perfection that I can ever find. I don't know if there will be a single turn around event like in the show, but I hope that I'm headed that way now. I really don't want to take any more of this.