It seems to me that being selfless and conforming to the pattern of this world do not go together. I constantly see people choose themselves. This is discouraging. I have been trying to choose others over myself, as have some people that I love dearly, and it has turned out to be a very solemn path with little help given from others. I write this in a depression blog to say that it is unbelievably difficult, for me, to balance my faith and my depression. I am called in Romans to consider others better than myself. This is twisted in depression into seeing myself as worthless. The fact that the command from Romans is not often reciprocated merely strengthens the sense of, I would say loneliness. Later in the song, Lost In The Trees has the line "I'm so lonely here." This is a profound moment to me, as it, in a sense connects selflessness with loneliness. I would have to say that at times, including this past weekend, I have seen this to be true to an extent.
I could say much more, or I could specify to an extent what events have lead to me thinking this way, but I have decided that the core principal and song communicate the pain and desire for something that I have experienced recently.
this is just something a read recently and idk if it even really applies to this post since i dont fully understand this myself but here it goes
ReplyDelete"If you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you asked almost any of the great Christians of old he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The negative ideal of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love. The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire.
If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.....We are far too easily pleased."
hopefully this can apply in someway.
CS Lewis describes humility not as thinking less of yourself, but rather as thinking of yourself less. As such, loneliness still isn't really being selfless, as it's a focus on self. Being selfless is caring about others needs with all of the force, with all of the passion, with all of the generosity that you would meet your own needs.
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