No One Said It Would Be Easy

Seeing as I have been sick and on tour, it has been a while since I posted. I have decided that I will save the tour post until after choir tour and combine them. Because of this, I have decided to run through yesterday as it happened after school.

I talked with some friends after school for a while. Somehow I ended up feeling more alone then I had before, so I decided to leave. On the drive home I listened to Feel Good Ghosts, an excellent album by Cloud Cult, a band that each one of you should check out if you haven't already. This is a great album that I consider to be very spiritual, I will add one of the songs on this album at the end of this post.

After this lovely listening, I arrived at home and took a tasty hour-long nap until I had to wake up for my psychiatrist appointment. I got to my psychiatrist appointment and went on in to his office. We talked about a lot, I'll see what I can remember. We went through the classics. He asked me how I have been doing this past month. I told him that I was pretty good on tour, but before and after I was about the same as I have been for a long time. He asked me why I seem to be so much worse when I'm home. This is interesting. I couldn't really answer. The only thing I could really say was that tour is the perfect combination of God, service, and music. He asked me if I'm suicidal. I believe I responded, "I don't particularly want to live, but I don't want to kill myself". I'm sure we talked about some more subjects, but this is what I remember. Then he brought my mom in and she agreed that I haven't been doing any better. He then said that he will double my prestiq dosage.

After this I went home and showered, and then drove out to Oak Park for my Mission Year interview. It was pretty much what you would expect. The part that relates to this blog is that I had to talk about my depression. This was weird for me. I basically had to say things that I knew would hurt my application. I hadn't really thought about how these two things would interact. It was interesting to really realize that I will be away from my closest friends and not be able to talk to them very much for a year.

Anyway, I'm leaving for choir tour tomorrow and very worried about being lonely the whole time. Please pray against loneliness on my behalf. Here's the song as promised.